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"Assuming I don't find that maggot first! I'm going to strangle that sorry spineless maggot scum, that walking vomit hatched from a mutant maggot egg! Just like Sun Tzu, who took two of every animal on LEGO Planet (including maggots), marched them up and down the square, herded them onto a boat, and beat the Megablok out of every single-"
— Soldier
Standard Agent Soldier
RonaldEArmy
Name Ronald E. Army
Skills Warfare
Organization Dino Attack Team
Creator PeabodySam


Sergeant Ronald E. Army, informally known as Soldier, was a LEGOLAND military sergeant and a Dino Attack agent.

BiographyEdit

LEGOLAND MilitaryEdit

Believing that one must fight to achieve victory even when the ruler forbids it, Sergeant Ronald Army led his troops into many conflicts, often despite the LEGOLAND army's lack of involvement. After an incident involving the Black Falcons, the LEGOLAND president sarcastically told Sergent Army that he was promoted to general; however, Army took this literally and thought that he was now a general.

In the following years, "General" Ronald Army became a veteran of many wars, battling against the Fright Knights in 1997, attempting to overthrow the Emperor of Japan in 1999, marching alongside the Alpha Team in 2004, and fighting against Dr. Inferno's minions in 2008. He also attempted to participate in off-planet wars such as the Crystalien Conflict of 2007, but the LEGOLAND government denied him access to any spaceport. That did not stop him from trying on at least nine occasions.

When not marching his troops up-and-down the square or finding some war halfway around the LEGO Planet to take part in, Sergeant Ronald Army often hung out with Erik Paulson in his free time. He became close friends with the demolitions expert after they both angered Majisto the Wizard and found themselves defending a small castle from Majisto's dragon.

Dino AttackEdit

Upon joining the Dino Attack Team early in the war, Sergeant Ronald Army was furious to discover that he had merely rookie agent status despite his believed background as a LEGOLAND military general. When he went to complain, Specs would not grant him the elite agent status he desired, instead telling him that he was "just a soldier now". Ever since then, he has mockingly been called "Soldier" by his colleagues. Regardless of his lack of rank in Dino Attack Team, Ronald "Soldier" Army was determined to keep commanding troops and marching them up and down the square.

Soldier was sent to Antarctica for a secret mission in hunting down cold-adapted Mutant Dinos. After destroying one of these nests with the rest of his squad, he overheard Specs mention that Zenna had spread rumor of the Antarctic mission. They quickly made their way to the Refugee Facilities, only to find riots everywhere. Soldier then ranted about killing Zenna the next time he saw her.

After the mission ended, Soldier returned to LEGO City and Dino Attack Headquarters, where he was assigned to Second Headquarters Squad. He then loudly remarked that the Hybrids were going to regret messing with him. At Gold City, Soldier helped plan the offensive strikes that retook the Dino Attack Outpost and a third of the city. However, he became too confident in his own victory that he did not suspect that the Hybrids would strike back. Since Soldier prefers offense to defense, he was unprepared for the retaliation and forced to retreat.

Teamed up with Demoman and ready for attack, Soldier was able to blast away any Hybrids approaching the Dino Attack Outpost. They pushed forward, until at last they learned that the Hybrids were stationed at Fort Legoredo. At once, Soldier sent a message to Specs, attempting and failing miserably to brief Specs on recent events before finally giving up and requesting permission to bomb Fort Legoredo. Later, when the Second Headquarters Squad was joined up by Clint Wayne and Angel Eyes, Soldier was not very impressed with his new recruits.

After the new recruits infiltrated Fort Legoredo, Soldier decided to take advantage of the Hybrids' attempt to recover by sending out the bomb cart, despite the fact that Engineer had not finished working on it. He constantly yelled at his teammates to keep pushing the cart, and when he tried to use his status as a military general to show his superior authority, Soldier became infuriated to learn from Spy that he was never actually promoted to general and was still only a sergeant.

Still, Soldier continued to command the Second Headquarters Squad. While he exchanged verbal and physical blows with Maria, the bomb cart traveled to Fort Legoredo and destroyed the fortress. Soldier returned triumphantly to Dino Attack Headquarters and celebrated his victory in the mess hall.

Soldier then learned that someone had killed Engineer and Medic. Despite his protests, Angel Eyes and Maria managed to round up most of his squad in the mess hall in an effort to keep them safe. However, due to Soldier's incompetence, he decided to lead Scout and Heavy out of the mess hall to the Portal Operating Team's secret room, which he believed to be much safer. Along the way, he took a wrong turn and ended up in the Dino Attack Headquarters lobby, where he grabbed Rex's wheelchair and pushed him along.

They managed to get into the secret room, but in the process, Heavy accidentally smashed the door, which greatly frustrated Soldier over the incompetence of his men. Soldier was then informed by Spy that Sniper had been killed as well. Then, when Spy began lecturing about the killer's motives and identity, Soldier promptly shot Spy in the face with his shotgun, believing his teammate to be the mole.

Despite Soldier's insistence that Spy was the traitor, Heavy, Scout, and Rex were angered by his actions. Although Rex attempted to keep them from hurting each other, Soldier got into a brawl with Heavy when he tried to help shut off Heavy's machine gun. In their fight, Soldier suffered many injuries. In his final moments, he saw XERRD's mole sneaking up on Rex and called out a warning to the elite agent. As a response, the mole shot and killed Soldier.

Abilities and TraitsEdit

The veteran of many wars, Soldier was a military tactician and brilliant strategist. He was particularly skilled with rocket launchers, though he could use nearly any weapon on the battlefield and usually carried a shotgun with him at all times.

Personality-wise, Soldier was an average military sergeant who always spoke in a loud, shouting manner and insulted his own troops to degrade them and make them feel like dirt compared to him. However, he got along very well with Demoman. His personal favorite insult was "maggot", which he always found a way to slip into his sentences. Soldier was infamous for his desire to make his troops march up and down town squares. He admired Sun Tzu's The Art of War and often alluded to it, though sometimes he mixed it up with the story of Noah's Ark. Despite his strong knowledge of warfare, Soldier was not very bright and often took sarcasm literally, believing for years that he was a general after a sarcastic comment.

"Soldier" is not Ronald Army's official Dino Attack codename, but instead an ironic nickname bestowed upon him by other Dino Attack agents, including former troops that he used to march up-and-down the town square. He hated being called this and would shout at anyone within earshot who called him "Soldier".

TriviaEdit

  • Soldier is largely based upon Jane Doe, the Soldier of Team Fortress 2, although he also draws from various other over-the-top military roles in media, including the drill sergeant played by Michael Palin in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, and the colonel from Conker's Bad Fur Day. His real name, Ronald E. Army, is a reference to Gunnery Sergeant Ronald Lee Ermey, who played Hartman in Full Metal Jacket.

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