"French Fries, you have no understanding of the importance of certain secrets, your realist views are so extreme that Kotua would be aghast, you fail at leadership, you're more ignorant than several politicians I could name to make a point, and you're willing to turn on your allies. That alone is so pitiful that it's a wonder that you're still here. But then you go and insult the things that some of us have spent hours into trying to help, and then... and THEN... you pass the line."
Elite Agent French Fries
Name French Fries
Skills None
Organization Dino Attack Team
Creator Atton Rand

French Fries is an extremely incompetent Dino Attack elite agent responsible for leaking the Antarctica black operations mission.


When French Fries joined Dino Attack Team, he was recognized by XERRD's mole, Ata, as "the perfect idiot" who could be tricked and manipulated into helping XERRD achieve its goal of destroying Dino Attack Team. Ata discreetly took advantage of his position as communications officer to alter reports and pull strings so that French Fries appeared to be a much more capable agent, eventually achieving the high rank of elite agent.

During the campaign to LEGO Island, French Fries oversaw Dino Attack Team's operations in LEGO City. Under his watch, the XERRD android Cam O'Cozy bombed Dino Attack Headquarters. At a nearby outpost, French Fries interrogated Zenna, who told him about the rumors of a secret black operations mission in Antarctica that was mentioned by O'Cozy. After extensive investigation, French Fries and Zenna confirmed the validity of these rumors. Foolishly believing that the best course of action was to expose the secret mission, French Fries ordered Gunderson to contact the refugee facility's news press and told Zenna to alert the rest of the team.

French Fries's orders came with dire consequences. The refugee facilities erupted into riots due to anger and confusion over Dino Attack Team deliberately hiding the existence of cold-adapted Mutant Dinos, while Dino Attack Team was torn apart by a schism between extremist "idealists" and "realists". However, French Fries did not receive any punishment for leaking the secret mission because his involvement was covered up by Ata.

After the mission to Adventurers' Island, French Fries spoke briefly with Bogart and denied the possibility of a XERRD mole. After hearing that Rotor and George Brown were supposedly guilty of mass treason, he held a mock trial for them before sentencing them both to death by firing squad. Bluetooth was infuriated about this and sent out an all-agents-bulletin on his PDA, alerting them to French Fries's latest antics.

Undeterred by Bluetooth, French Fries went to the mess hall to discuss his battle strategy with Darling. There, he noticed Pterisa and ordered Darling to shoot her. Pterisa defended herself and her friends stepped up to protect her, much to French Fries's anger. He threatened them with his authority and was ready to contact Dino Attack Team's funding corporations to let them know that the team was harboring mutants. Fed up with his behavior, Andrew and Kareem Nazareno responded by arresting him.

On the way to the detention block, they met Rex, who violently assaulted French Fries. After being locked up, French Fries was beaten to unconsciousness by Pharisee to set an example. He was stripped of his elite ranking and formally discharged from the team.

Abilities and TraitsEdit

French Fries

French Fries in military uniform

French Fries has no known skills or redeeming qualities. He should never have become an elite agent, and he would not have if it were not for Ata deliberately putting him in a position of power.

French Fries is very dangerously incompetent, to the point of being declared insane by his fellow Dino Attack agents. He believed that the team schism was nothing more than just rumors conjured up to discredit Dino Attack Team, and denied the possibility of XERRD having a mole planted in the team. He would order his men to walk slowly towards Mutant Dinos, believing it to be the best battle strategy even though it would only result in devastating failure. During his trial of Rotor and Brown, he took it upon himself to act as both the judge and a witness, making a travesty of the judicial system. As an elite agent, he abuses his authority and threatens to shoot fellow agents if they do not comply with his demands. He holds no respect for the lives of mutants such as Pterisa, and he planned to have Rex shot for "harboring the enemy". French Fries firmly believed that he had "friends in high places" who would protect him, and remained smug and confident even as he was being beaten by Rex. Only Pharisee managed to evoke a reaction of fear from French Fries.

French Fries chose his codename because he believed that it would be the last thing his enemies would suspect.


  • French Fries was modeled after General Melchett from Blackadder Goes Forth.
  • When Atton Rand originally introduced French Fries in Dino Attack RPG, he intended that the elite agent was a reasonable figure of authority, not realizing the full consequences of leaking the Antarctica black ops mission. In Dino Attack: At War's End, Atton Rand brought back French Fries, now characterized as an insane idiot, to give his fellow players a chance to get revenge on the elite agent for causing the riots and team schism. However, he did not expect how far players such as PeabodySam would go in violently assaulting French Fries.
  • French Fries boasted about having apparently run over Trouble to demonstrate the futility of taming Mutant Dinos. However, as French Fries also commented that all darkness breed Mutant Lizards look alike, it is most likely that he was mistaken, since there is no evidence supporting his claim that the Mutant Lizard in question was Trouble.

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